Evaluación de un AWA

[tushbil]

Hola,

Estoy preparando el GMAT y una de las partes que se me da peor es el AWA. No escribo en inglés desde bachillerato, y básicamente lo que he hecho es aprenderme de memoria el template de Chineseburned y rellenar huecos. Os dejo aquí un AWA que he hecho para un test de MGMAT.
Me gustaría que me pusierais una nota, aunque fuera inexacta y orientativa. No aspiro a mucho, con un 4.5/6 me conformaría. Acepto comentarios, críticas, etc para saber si me queda mucho camino por recorrer o si está ya bastante bien. Gracias



ESSAY QUESTION:
The following appeared in the personal finance section of a popular magazine:

“The average price of an acre of land in the United States is now 50 times what it was in 1970, and nearly 200 times what it was in 1920. The nation’s population is projected to keep increasing, even as the amount of land remains constant. Therefore, people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security.”

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

YOUR RESPONSE:
The arguments claims that people who are approaching retirement should invest heavily in real estate in order to ensure their financial security. Stated in this way, the argument fails to mention several key factors, on the basis of which it could be evaluated. The conclusion is based on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Therefore, the argument is rather weak, unconvicing, and has several flaws.

First, the argument readily assumes that the average price of an acre of land will continue to increase. This statement is a stretch and not substantiated in any way. The author assumes that if the price has been increasing in the last decades, it will undoubtedly continue on this strend. That is not necessarily true. In fact, the price of land hinges on supply and demand, and if the demand does not go up, the price will not increase. Even though the population is projected to increase, it does not necessarily mean that the demand will follow. For instance, contractors can build very tall buildings, for which little land is needed and in which a lot of people can live.

Second, the argument claims the population is projected to keep increasing. It thus suggests that the population will be higher in the future. Nonetheless, the author does not provide any clear evidence about this statement. If the argument stated examples or gave some evidence to explain why nation's population is expected to rise, the claim would be strenghtened.

Finally, the argument concludes that people who are expected to retire in the near future should invest in real estate to ensure their financial security. This conclusion is flawed because of several reasons. In general, retired people need a regular income. Being the owner of a land doesn't result necessarily in regular income. In fact, it depends on the demand. Therefore, it is risky to bet on real estate without knowing how the market will behave in the future. In order to strenghten the argument, the author could have explained why this investment option is better than the other investment possibilities, and how the real estate market will be in the future.

In summary, the argument is weak and unconvicing. It could be considerably strenghtened if the author clearly mentioned all the relevant facts . In order to assess the merits of a certain situation, it is essential to have full knowledge of all the contributing factors.

[tushbil]

Hello Kevin,

As I haven't written a single essay since my last year at high school, my writing is not stellar. For this reason, I memorized the famous template in order to diminish the number of errors I could make. I sat for the GMAT exam 2 weeks ago and... got a 4.5 in AWA ! Your scoring is very accurate

Thank you for your help !

souhayls